Grieving death and surviving

Losing someone can feel like your whole world has shattered and some how you have to learn to rebuild your life on your own, trying to fill in the missing pieces.

Recently I had a client who had lost her father 4 years ago. She had not really grieved for her father as she wanted to be the strong one for her mother and sister, only to find that she was becoming increasing angry and anxious that she was worried she couldn’t cope anymore. Within 6 sessions of therapy my client was able to move forward in her life, finally accepting her fathers death and overcoming her anxiety attacks. She shared a poem that she had written about her father below and sent me a testimonial of our work together.

Memories

The remnants of a Trinny accent that lingered in your voice
Vanilla Ice cream was always your favourite food of choice
The silly songs you sang to cheer me up when I was blue
How you exploded with earth-shaking sneezes each time you had the flu
 
Trying to keep up with you in the supermarket as you raced off with each long leg
Your noisy, animated conversations while on the phone to Greg
Every Sabbath morning listening to you singing falsetto in the shower
How you loved to talk all things maths for hour upon hour
 
You had a special type of humour that only dads can seem to master
Telling jokes that used to send yourself into peals of laughter
The undisputed best scrambled egg maker in the nation
Your potato salad and macaroni cheese were my culinary inspiration
 
A Gadget Man way before Stephen Fry – techno problems you never had
Without you Brother Gibbs would not have learned to use his infamous I-pad
A mathematical genius- the best I know by far
Even though I could done without the maths quizzes in the car
 
Through the successes and the failures you were always by my side.
You videotaped my graduation with such happiness and pride,
You were my own personal tutor who never failed to help me through
And each future milestone I hope to conquer I’ll do in memory of you.
 
Each and every moment I will treasure with all my heart
As life has been so very cruel to tear us far apart
When I feel your loss I can’t help but shed a tear
As it hurts to lose someone you love who was once so near
 
But I have a blessed hope and I today I testify,
That soon you will awaken as Christ Jesus bursts through the sky.
You’re the first face I will look for as I cross that glassy sea
And we can spend always together with Him for all eternity
 
So this tribute is not to say goodbye but to say I’ll see you soon
Although to lose you so early was inopportune
Knowing we’ll meet again makes my heart so glad
To others you were Neil…
but to me you were simply… Dad.

Her testimonial:

“Before I had counselling sessions with Satya, I had been struggling for over four years. 3 family members had passed away, including my father, and I was finding it difficult to cope with my grief and increasing levels of anxiety.
 
Satya was so helpful from the very started. Recognising my urgency for support, she booked me in for an appointment the day after I first called.
 
Before working with Satya I contacted other bereavement services – but they felt impersonal. However, my sessions with Satya were different. She listened and remembered, which made me feel like my grief was acknowledged and that I was recognised as an individual.
 
I especially loved the way that Satya incorporated my faith into my sessions (as it is a really important part of my life). This again helped to make the sessions feel more personal.
 
The help and support I received from Satya has been invaluable. The coping mechanisms and techniques she shared have helped me in all aspects of my life and have significantly reduced my anxiety.
 
Thanks Satya! “

Illustration by http://cargocollective.com/tonyparkash

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